January 15- The Benefits of Boundaries

January 15, 2011

Scripture Readings:
Genesis 31:17-32:12; Matthew 10:24-11:6;
Psalm 13:1-6; Proverbs 3:16-18

Good fences make good neighbors. 
~Robert Frost

Genesis 31:17-32:12

One of the reasons there are dysfunctional families on this planet is because many people don't understand or respect the personal boundaries of the individuals within the family.  This can lead to all kinds of issues including control issues, conflict and strife, and even abuse.  Personal boundaries prevent victimhood.  With clear lines drawn, an individual can protect their self-worth and personhood even within a group.

Today Jacob packs up his wives, children, and possessions and sneaks away toward the Promised Land.  He sneaks away because he has a bad relationship with his father-in-law who tries to control him. Unbeknownst to Jacob, his wife Rachel has stolen the household gods of her father Laban.  Here is one boundary crossed.  Rachel oversteps her father's boundary by stealing his stuff.

Three days into their journey, Laban realizes that his son-in-law, daughters and grandkids have left and he decides to pursue them. When he catches up, he scolds Jacob for leaving without telling him and for stealing his gods.  Laban has his men search everything that Jacob owns, but does not find his god's because Rachel, who is also overstepping boundaries, has put them in her camel sack, sits on them, and claims to be on her period. Jacob becomes furious after Laban does not find the idols.

Let me take a moment to say that if you are a family that does not have proper boundaries, you may find yourself lying and manipulating situations as a means of coping.  Rachel is an example of this.  Jacob fleeing Haran without telling Laban is also an example of this.

Laban claims that his daughters, the grandkids, and all of Jacob's possessions are really his. Do you think Laban is a control freak? Here is a major boundary issue! Laban has not learned, as the in-law, to allow his son-in-law and daughters to have their own separate family. He feels that they are all part of HIS family. He is wrong. Remember that the Bible teaches that when a man and woman get married they are to leave their father and mother, cleaving together as one (Genesis 2:24). This passage teaches that married couples should have boundaries with the in-laws.

Jacob launches into an angry tirade about how Laban has overstepped proper boundaries and has treated Jacob poorly all of these years. Because God has intervened prior to this meeting and told Laban to watch what he says to Jacob, Laban agrees to disagree.

The two men set up a "Witness Pile."  This group of stones represents a boundary that the men will honor from here on out. They are to be at peace with one another and not cross this line. They vow to respect one another and make their vow to God.  The vow is not made to Laban's pagan statue gods, but to the One True God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Afterwards, they sacrifice to God and worship Him together.

Wow!  This is beautiful.  Perfect. 

Lesson:  God approves of boundaries. Healthy families and healthy people have boundaries. You and I should develop "Witness Piles" in our lives.

As Jacob starts his journey, God sends angels to minister to him and confirm that God is with him.  Jacob sends word to Esau that he is coming.  Esau sets out to meet him with 400 men.  Jacob is afraid that Esau is coming to fulfill his threat to kill Jacob for stealing his birthright and blessing. Jacob is learning to turn to God and ask God to fulfill His promises as seen in  the following prayer,

"O God of my grandfather, Abraham and my father, Isaac-O Lord, you told me to return to my land and to my relatives, and you promised to treat me kindly. I am not worthy of all the faithfulness and the unfailing love you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home, I owned nothing except a walking stick, and now my household fills two camps! O Lord, please rescue me from my brother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to kill me, along with my wives and children.  But you promised to treat me kindly and to multiply my descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore- too many to count."  Genesis 32:9-12 (NLT)

Here are lessons from Jacob's prayer:

• Acknowledge who God is in your prayers.
• Recount His promises to you.
• Count your blessings from God.
• Ask your requests humbly, but boldly.
• Recount God's character traits like His lovingkindness and mercy.
• Expect an answer.

Matthew 10:24-11:6

Get your head in the game.
 ~High School Musical

I love Coach K, Mike Krzyzewski, the basketball coach for Duke University because of his ability to recruit the appropriate players, train them well, and motivate them to work as a team with purpose.  Needless to say, I was thrilled last year when they won the National Championship.  My son was a junior at Duke that year. What a great college memory!

Today Jesus is a good spiritual coach who has recruited his apostles and disciples, has trained them through teaching and miracles, and is now and giving them a motivational speech before sending them into the game and out to the wolves (Jews). It was God's plan from the beginning of all time to have the Good News of the gospel of Christ sent to the nation of Israel first. He intends to use the disciples for this purpose. Therefore, the disciples need to have a game plan and it is essential that they have their heads in the game. Here are the highlights of coach Jesus' talk:

• A student is not greater than his teacher and a servant is not greater than his master.  Both will share the same fate. Vs. 24-27
• Don't be afraid of those who want to kill your body. Be afraid of God who can kill both your body and your soul. Vs. 28
• Don't be afraid because God has numbered the hairs on your head and you are valuable to Him. Vs. 29-30
• If you acknowledge Christ while on earth, he will acknowledge you to the Father in heaven. If you deny him, he will deny you in heaven. Vs. 32-33
• Your family (the Jewish Nation) will be your enemies. This gospel message will cause strife in families. Vs. 34-37 
• You must be willing to take up a cross for Christ. Note:  The cross was a uniquely Roman torture method for death. Vs. 38
• If you cling to your life, you will lose it for eternity. Get your priorities straight. Vs. 39
• There are eternal rewards for those who welcome Christ and his disciples and for those who do Christ's work on earth. Vs. 40-42

What do you think of Christ's speech?  Does it motivate you to follow him and be part of his team?  He is asking that you be willing to take a bullet for him, if you need to.  Are you willing?

Next, we have a very interesting scene. John the Baptist sends a message to Jesus asking if he is truly the Messiah who was to come to Israel.  My thinking is that John the Baptist, who has been arrested and is facing death, might be confused as to why he (John) is in such a predicament. He is suffering in jail and facing death. If Jesus really is God, why are bad things happening to him?  Why is John in jail? How is it that he is having a wilderness experience in the midst of Christ's ministry on earth?  How can bad things still be happening when the Messiah is on earth?  John the Baptist is having to "take a bullet" for Christ. This confuses him. My guess is that he thought the Messiah would bring peace and harmony when he came to earth, but John is experiencing persecution.

Jesus answers by recounting his physical miracles, culminating with even raising the dead.  Jesus reassures John also that the Good News of the Kingdom of God is being preached to the poor.  Jesus knows that John the Baptist knows his Scriptures. Jesus is showing John that he (Jesus) is the fulfillment of what the prophet Isaiah prophesied in Isaiah 29:18-21; 35:5-6; 61:1.

Jesus encourages John not to give up hope in the midst of his circumstances by reminding him "Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."  Jesus is asking John to stand firm, even though following Christ is going to result in his physical death. John the Baptist is having to take up his cross and follow Christ. John the Baptist is having to get his head in the game.

Do you have expectations about what the Christian life should be like? Are you sometimes disappointed that bad things happen to you, even though you love God and believe in Jesus?

Lesson:  Your life is not going to be sunshine and light just because you have decided to follow Christ.  It might actually get tougher. God promises eternal rewards for those who trust him and follow him.  Eternity lasts a long time. Get perspective.

Psalm 13:1-6

Use this portion of this psalm as an example to you that you can come to God when you are down.  He doesn't mind if you have a little "Whine" with your cheese.

Proverbs 3:16-18

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her.  Remember the tree of life in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve were banished from eating?  Here is a tree that you can eat from each day!

What did you notice today?

Blessings,

Jubilee Gal

Kathy Fullerton